October 28, 2013

One good man

      I am often asked by my readers, "Do you know that man you wrote about in your book?". I write historical romance so of course the heroes in my books are always tasty. I try for that nice, romantic ideal women look for in a man. First those elusive things, like someone who always listens or takes note of what you enjoy. And of course that they are respectful, attentive and always appreciative lovers. (One of the reasons I like to keep my love scenes more love than scene.) But, I also like my heroes to be men, real men. Real men can be forgetful and distracted and enjoy doing things women don't always appreciate and understand. They get dirty, in sexy ways of course, and their approach to everything in life is more physical. Liberation is fine but men and women are undeniably different and I love writing about a time when romance was not free love. About a time when sex was less open and seasoned with a bit of naughtiness.
      Today I am not writing about bare tanned shoulders and well-to-do landowners. Today I am going to write about my man. The man I really do know. Like a woman, a man can have a million facets, and so does mine. He is intelligent, creative, and imaginative and he possesses the best sense of humor of any person I know. For me he's just about perfect. Is he the man in the books? No, he is not. When I told him that a reader asked if she might meet him one time after talking in length about how delicious Timothy Elgerson was in my book Stavewood, my husband's response was, "No good will come of this." I think he's wonderful, he thinks he is who he is.
      We have been married since 1980, and would have been longer, I think, had we met earlier. Even when he drives me crazy, and yes, he does, he is my best friend and a wonderful partner. When I am asked if there is a secret to a long marriage those are the things I think are most important. You cannot last for years if you cannot be best friends to one another. Best friends are partners and so are good mates. They never talk with malice about one another behind each other's back. Never! They handle life as a team and balance each other out when one or the other falters. Like real friends. A real friend listens when you're going nuts and then tells you when you begin to wallow and helps you back onto your feet. They never pretend to support you, they do. Of course an aspect in that ideal partnership is that there is enough faith that when your mate tells you that you're wallowing you have enough respect for them and yourself to listen and stand up for yourself.

      Gibran said about marriage:

                                         "And stand together, yet not too near together
                                         For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
                                         And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each
                                         other's shadow."
        I always thought that covered it well. So today I am sharing a few pictures of my dear Patrick. He's the real man that fires my imagination and helps me define what makes a great hero, as well as an equally appreciative heroine.  
    Circa 1970 - Just my type!

I know I am crazy about a sharp dressed man!

My man is now a grandfather. He's good it at. After all he was a wonderful father.

When the picture was grey, but we were not.

I love a man who can dance!

And who loves music!

And it of course it's wonderful when you find one another again and again over time.

Thank you for joining my little journey...


  1. Now I understand why you are such a good writer. So well said. What a beautiful gift you have for changing thoughts and feelings into words.

  2. Thank you so much for your wonderful input Jim!